Summer Updates

Apologies for abandoning my post over here- what a busy and fulfilling summer it has been! My husband and I have been working on improvements to our properties which has required constant work in the studio to keep up. $$. But now that most if not all of the improvement projects slated for this year are now completed, I can finally take a moment to sit back and appreciate them.

A lot of these projects are actually not much to look at- relocating the mini split condenser for my studio, removing and trimming large trees and other small but important tweaks, but the most exciting one is the brand new deck sitting atop a new retaining wall on the back of my studio built by my amazing husband Cedric!

Previously, there was a decidedly sketchy “wall” built with used tires in the hillside. Cedric removed the tires and built a massive concrete structure (retaining walls are one of his specialties) to hold the weight of the hillside and used this as the base for the deck. I knew I’d get a back egress someday, but I never thought it would be so soon!

It’s amazing how a small change can transform your space. I’m so happy with this rapid progress.

Back to Crossfox..

“Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it.” – George Santayana, The Life of Reason, 1905

You probably saw me posting about my recent trip to Gettysburg and Antietam where I photographed most of the upcoming collection.

First, a preface: When you say you are *interested* in wars of the past, many times people will take it upon themselves later to say that you “love” them. This has always greatly bothered me in its lack of understanding and nuance.

War is terrible and nothing could be farther from the truth for myself. However, you can be drawn to and interested in something without condoning or enjoying it. True crime documentaries and podcasts are wildly popular. Do the people that watch/listen to them love murder?

Anyway. Now that we’ve touched on that.

Gettysburg and Antietam were two of the bloodiest battles of the American Civil War. The battle of Antietam was the single bloodiest day on American soil, and Gettysburg, spanning 3 days, was the bloodiest battle overall. I had ancestors at both, one of which who was present for both battles.

I have made countless visits to both locations over the decades, but this was my first time shooting there. Both locations are relatively well preserved and maintained with many of the original structures either still standing, or restored. It is truly stunning countryside.

After (and during) both battles, almost every available building was pressed into service as an ad hoc hospital. Therefore, both of the locations I shot in were indeed hospitals and storage for bodies. The inn in Gettysburg in which I stayed had its windows removed so that surgeons could throw amputated limbs out of the building as they worked. The root cellar then became cold storage for some of the unlucky ones. The house was occupied by Confederates during the battle, and the attic a sharpshooter’s nest. As one of them was shot and killed, he would be dragged across the room and another would take his spot. The room I stayed in was in the middle of all of this for context.

The second location was a long term hospital following the battle of Antietam, with patients convalescing (or not) for many months. Surrounding the farmhouse are a few large, ancient barns which was my backdrop.

Particularly at the Antietam location, it’s very easy to forget something so incredibly horrific happened here. The property is now owned by a lovely couple who host life drawing sessions and other free spirited activities. And although they do have an interest in history and at least one of them reenacts, there’s few clues to the dark past of these structures.

Similarly, but not quite in the same way, a light heartedness thankfully distracts from the horrors of the town of Gettysburg. Ice cream and souvenir shops line the streets, and families on vacation mob them. At sunset especially, candlelight ghost tours draw crowds of entranced kids. As ghoulish as it may seem to turn this dark history into entertainment, I am happy to see kids engaging with history- so whatever it takes is fine with me. I think people in general shy away from history far too much, and that’s where some of the more dumb statements like saying some “loves” the civil war, and the attitude that it’s just an icky topic best skipped over often originate.

As I was making my way around in the morning before shooting, a costumed staff member swinging around a bloody mannequin arm chatted me up on the street and convinced me to join her nearly empty daytime ghost tour. I was rather curious to see the attic and basement (I mean can you blame me, who doesn’t love an old basement am I right) as well as hear more about the history of the property, so after some hesitation, I agreed.

I enjoyed my tour, although definitely geared mostly towards children and people who think *every* bump in the night is a ghost, but moreover it got me thinking about the absurdity of it all. If ghosts have any awareness of us, what a crazy circus it must be for them. Imagine walking amongst the living, who almost seem to celebrate their sufferings over 150 years later. Again, no one with two brain cells is actually happy that such horrible events occurred, but there is a certain degree of commodification and consumerism required to upkeep the town as an attraction. It’s not quite as bad as Salem, a place I cannot stand and refuse to visit ever again out of principle (romanticizing the murder of women who weren’t witches that DIDN’T EVEN HAPPEN IN SALEM FFS) but there’s a dash of that “every day is Halloween” tourist energy here and there.

But isn’t that the absurdity of life. The living mock the dead, and then they join them. We share the same space, but time marches on. I hold in reverence the history of these places every time I visit, but I also have a lot of fun. Everything in balance. I briefly wondered if it was “right” to make art in these blood soaked walls, but surely someone will dance on my grave one day if I’m lucky.

Collection releases this Friday 7/31 at 4:30 pm est. 🖤